Wha...?

It's odd--this week I have been in a very productive mode. I've been the busiest of little bees; exercising my body a LOT, eating well, getting enough sleep, accomplishing two days' work into one at my job, practicing singing a lot, getting chores done, visiting with friends, relaxing with French films (which I will go into more detail about at some point here).

I've been completely satisfied with all of this...haven't felt anything lacking, haven't felt manic or overemotional and over-thinkie, even. I've been sort of coasting along, with time and energy aplenty for all that I need to do. Such a strange feeling! Abnormal, really.

Then about two o'clock this afternoon, I don't know...I ran out of mental energy. Inexplicably it all seeped away unnoticed, and I lost the ability to focus on my job, then at home afterwards it continued on its peterishly downward spiral. I have now devolved into a spacey,yawny, uninspired little rag doll.

Tonight I was supposed to try and go to one or two shows (at least if I didn't get the house straight for Miss Rachel, who arrives tomorrow). However rather than attend these, I decided it would be okay to stay in and ready the place for Rachel's arrival. But instead of cleaning the bathroom, the kitchen, and so on, all I've been doing is knowingly, WILLINGLY, playing on the computer and watching network television. I can't think in a straight line and find the idea of even writing out a task list well nigh insurmountable. I want to go out and see Sue Moreno play; I want to go to Target and get beverages for Li'l R and me this weekend. And all I'm doing is writing about how I want to do this or that, and not doing it. *flog*

I think, perhaps, I need my bed for an extra hour tonight? I'm not expecting the rush of accomplishment that I've had for the past four or five days, but I do hope I regain just a little bit of focus. HELP!

Ugh...I am sore and drained. Why?

Perhaps my new therapist will help me shed some light on it. I start seeing her Tuesday--first time I've seen anyone since the fall of 2005.