Subject: "Feel Like Makin' Love" by Bad Company.
This abhorrence could be trauma-related from an encounter I once had in someone's rec room when I was 16 with a 24-year-old ex-con. Literally, he pulled me close to slow dance, and started doing this huge rhythmic sway (kind of like Stevie Wonder) while rubbing my back...cheesy grin on his face trying to gaze into my eyes, humming the song softly with Parliament-breath, getting his goods closer and closer while both of us got stiffer. For me, NOT in a good way. Ewwwwww.
My best friend was upstairs making out with his buddy and had totally ditched me with this guy. Oh, god. I...*shudder.*>>
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Friday, October 22, 2004
My great expectations
Okay, a little bit of honest journal entry. I'll probably remove this later, falling victim to the "acting like you don't care" routine.
I've gone my whole life trying not to expect too many things from people. However, I've learned that try though I might, I have expectations, and they are high ones. I try and give to people as much as I can. Anyone who knows me knows that..
Why can't people treat you the way you treat them? I don't want to be bitter, but it's a feeling I experience more and more. Sure, I could pull back on my openness; sure, I could pull back on my communicative tendencies. I could play games like 'Hard-to-get' or ' I don't care about you' or 'You don't know what I'm feeling.' I've resolved to do that many a time; hell, probably even succeeded.
To those of you who worry if you've let me down, you probably have. To those of you who worry if you might've hurt me, you probably have. To those of you who think I give too much, I probably do. If you are wondering if I'm meaning something about you personally, I might be. But keep in mind that this journal entry is the result of a build-up of many issues; many friendships and relationships, and many disappointments. So don't let it eat you up too much.
Just give the bullshit a rest and take a chance on others. They aren't all going to be bastards. And as for me...treat me better from now on, OK?
I don't want to (and am probably unable to) change who I am and become a bitter, untrusting person. I want to protect myself, but in the end if I gave less than I am capable of giving; pulled back, I would only cause hurt feelings in others who are honest of heart. These are the people I love, so I don't. Being bitter and untrusting wastes the gift of life.
I've gone my whole life trying not to expect too many things from people. However, I've learned that try though I might, I have expectations, and they are high ones. I try and give to people as much as I can. Anyone who knows me knows that..
Why can't people treat you the way you treat them? I don't want to be bitter, but it's a feeling I experience more and more. Sure, I could pull back on my openness; sure, I could pull back on my communicative tendencies. I could play games like 'Hard-to-get' or ' I don't care about you' or 'You don't know what I'm feeling.' I've resolved to do that many a time; hell, probably even succeeded.
To those of you who worry if you've let me down, you probably have. To those of you who worry if you might've hurt me, you probably have. To those of you who think I give too much, I probably do. If you are wondering if I'm meaning something about you personally, I might be. But keep in mind that this journal entry is the result of a build-up of many issues; many friendships and relationships, and many disappointments. So don't let it eat you up too much.
Just give the bullshit a rest and take a chance on others. They aren't all going to be bastards. And as for me...treat me better from now on, OK?
I don't want to (and am probably unable to) change who I am and become a bitter, untrusting person. I want to protect myself, but in the end if I gave less than I am capable of giving; pulled back, I would only cause hurt feelings in others who are honest of heart. These are the people I love, so I don't. Being bitter and untrusting wastes the gift of life.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
My lunchtime high-speed car chase....
LOOK FOR ME ON 'COPS'....
I just got busted trying to evade a police officer! But I'm back from lunch. I ate a sandwich and some yoghurt.
Many of you know I've been looking for a taillight for my '64 Valiant for a long time, and so the inspection isn't current, because until last week, I hadn't been able to find one for my car. Anyway.
So I'm driving the few blocks from my work to my house to take my lunch break, and I see a cop driving towards me. This means in my world, "Caroline hide from cop!" So I drove really close behind the car in front of me hoping he wouldn't notice my inspection sticker that says "02/03", but what does he do? Turn around in the middle of the street to come back around for me. Arrgh! So I speed up to the stop sign, come to a complete stop (so just in case I do get busted he can't get me for that), squeal my tires, burn rubber, and race the last block to my driveway. I totally pull in at break-neck speed and hop out, but I'd see him in my mirror and knew he had me. So I'm in my yard running towards the door when he pulls up behind me. I screamed, "DAMN you people! I'm trying to get away from you, and you're not helping me!" I think I shook my fists in frustration, too.
So, the cop gets out and gets his first look at me...braids, MC5
T-shirt, jeans, groceries in the car which is half on the lawn due to my COPS-style pull up...and he actually LAUGHED at me.
He walks up to my car, and I'm standing there talking to myself, going, "Dammit, I just found my taillight on eBay and now you get me! See that taillight? It won't pass inspection, this is a 1964 car, what am I going to do? I finally got one though (I think I clapped my hands with glee here)."
He looks at my (current) registration sticker, and says, "Well, I understand that, so if you have insurance, then I won't do anything." I show him my (current) insurance and then I relax and said in a small voice, "I'm sorry I tried to run away from you, I just don't wanna get busted."
He says, 'You should have seen yourself tear around the corner and behind the bushes! I thought you were going on the run, and I was going to have to chase you down!" Then he looked at me and laughed again. I had a sneaking suspicion that I was going to be the topic of conversation in a parking lot with another cop pretty soon.
I said, "Well, I actually live here. Can I go make a sandwich now?" to which he replied, "Make sure you put some lettuce on it." And drove away.
High-speed chases are FUN!!!!
I just got busted trying to evade a police officer! But I'm back from lunch. I ate a sandwich and some yoghurt.
Many of you know I've been looking for a taillight for my '64 Valiant for a long time, and so the inspection isn't current, because until last week, I hadn't been able to find one for my car. Anyway.
So I'm driving the few blocks from my work to my house to take my lunch break, and I see a cop driving towards me. This means in my world, "Caroline hide from cop!" So I drove really close behind the car in front of me hoping he wouldn't notice my inspection sticker that says "02/03", but what does he do? Turn around in the middle of the street to come back around for me. Arrgh! So I speed up to the stop sign, come to a complete stop (so just in case I do get busted he can't get me for that), squeal my tires, burn rubber, and race the last block to my driveway. I totally pull in at break-neck speed and hop out, but I'd see him in my mirror and knew he had me. So I'm in my yard running towards the door when he pulls up behind me. I screamed, "DAMN you people! I'm trying to get away from you, and you're not helping me!" I think I shook my fists in frustration, too.
So, the cop gets out and gets his first look at me...braids, MC5
T-shirt, jeans, groceries in the car which is half on the lawn due to my COPS-style pull up...and he actually LAUGHED at me.
He walks up to my car, and I'm standing there talking to myself, going, "Dammit, I just found my taillight on eBay and now you get me! See that taillight? It won't pass inspection, this is a 1964 car, what am I going to do? I finally got one though (I think I clapped my hands with glee here)."
He looks at my (current) registration sticker, and says, "Well, I understand that, so if you have insurance, then I won't do anything." I show him my (current) insurance and then I relax and said in a small voice, "I'm sorry I tried to run away from you, I just don't wanna get busted."
He says, 'You should have seen yourself tear around the corner and behind the bushes! I thought you were going on the run, and I was going to have to chase you down!" Then he looked at me and laughed again. I had a sneaking suspicion that I was going to be the topic of conversation in a parking lot with another cop pretty soon.
I said, "Well, I actually live here. Can I go make a sandwich now?" to which he replied, "Make sure you put some lettuce on it." And drove away.
High-speed chases are FUN!!!!
Friday, October 15, 2004
Childhood stories, vol. 1
My best friend and I were in my room ( I was about 9) and I'd swiped a lipstick from somewhere. I proceeded to attempt to get a rise out of my friend's usually calm demeanor. I concentrated on my image in the mirror. I started with my lips, and then I don't know what happened. She stood there, open-mouthed and ashen-faced, as I dragged that lipstick all across my face. In designs, no less...happy faces, swirls, stripes, self-portraits...pure hot-pink hullabaloo. The game was over when the lipstick was a sticky nub and my entire face was covered in cakey, oily, little-old-lady, shocking pink lipstick.
The sad thing is that this lipstick was the old-school kind, almost flourescent and possibly made with lead. No matter how hard I scrubbed, and how often, it didn't come out for about a week.
But even sadder than that, it was the week we had our school pictures taken.
The sad thing is that this lipstick was the old-school kind, almost flourescent and possibly made with lead. No matter how hard I scrubbed, and how often, it didn't come out for about a week.
But even sadder than that, it was the week we had our school pictures taken.
Monday, September 6, 2004
My amazing family, Part 3: Reefer Madness
This is something pretty cool I only recently found out. My dad used to tell me that his uncle Warren was an actor. He never did tell me what he was in, and as it turns out, I own the movie. Come ON! Reefer Madness?!? That's just too cool to be true. BY the way, the acting is totally laughable. But he's family, you know?
http://www.reefer-madness-movie.com/history.html
And his IMDB at:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0566153/
This is something pretty cool I only recently found out. My dad used to tell me that his uncle Warren was an actor. He never did tell me what he was in, and as it turns out, I own the movie. Come ON! Reefer Madness?!? That's just too cool to be true. BY the way, the acting is totally laughable. But he's family, you know?
http://www.reefer-madness-movie.com/history.html
And his IMDB at:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0566153/
My amazing family, Part 2: Sam Hinton, folk-music legend and biologist.
Sam Hinton is my grandmother's brother, and he and I share one piece of discographical history. We both have songs released from Bear Family Records, out of Germany. Isn't that wild?
My uncle Sam has had a long, rewarding musical career that began in Texas and worked its way up to legendary status through the decades. He's still alive and living out on La Jolla, too. I remember I went to visit them once and he pointed out his neighbor's house. It was the home of Jonas Salk, the man who invented the polio vaccine. Of course, this was when Salk was still alive. And I went to see the Go Gos with Katrina & the Waves while I was out there, too. And I went to Mexico for lunch. It was a good trip.
I found out my uncle had a band with my aunts Nell and Ann in the 1930s, and they played on the radio all over the place. They were called "The Texas Trio". I also find that pretty bizarre since my friend Shaun Young has had a band of the same name. Cool.
I was floored a few years ago when Bear Family Records released an entire collection of my uncle's music. They were recordings he had done back in 1947 for the Library of Congress Musical Archives. They're pretty damned interesting too, although I myself prefer the more colorful pieces he did on his kids' albums in the '50s and '60s.
A lot of you may not know this about me either, but I have a thing for biology and, specifically, snakes. I took care of snakes every summer for about 5 years when I was in junior high and high school. I know how snakes poop and how to tell the difference between the sexes. I'l tell you if you want; all you have to do is ask. If you want to know what that has to do with anything, read on.
Here's my uncle Sam's awesome story:
http://www.samhinton.org/bio.html
Sam Hinton is my grandmother's brother, and he and I share one piece of discographical history. We both have songs released from Bear Family Records, out of Germany. Isn't that wild?
My uncle Sam has had a long, rewarding musical career that began in Texas and worked its way up to legendary status through the decades. He's still alive and living out on La Jolla, too. I remember I went to visit them once and he pointed out his neighbor's house. It was the home of Jonas Salk, the man who invented the polio vaccine. Of course, this was when Salk was still alive. And I went to see the Go Gos with Katrina & the Waves while I was out there, too. And I went to Mexico for lunch. It was a good trip.
I found out my uncle had a band with my aunts Nell and Ann in the 1930s, and they played on the radio all over the place. They were called "The Texas Trio". I also find that pretty bizarre since my friend Shaun Young has had a band of the same name. Cool.
I was floored a few years ago when Bear Family Records released an entire collection of my uncle's music. They were recordings he had done back in 1947 for the Library of Congress Musical Archives. They're pretty damned interesting too, although I myself prefer the more colorful pieces he did on his kids' albums in the '50s and '60s.
A lot of you may not know this about me either, but I have a thing for biology and, specifically, snakes. I took care of snakes every summer for about 5 years when I was in junior high and high school. I know how snakes poop and how to tell the difference between the sexes. I'l tell you if you want; all you have to do is ask. If you want to know what that has to do with anything, read on.
Here's my uncle Sam's awesome story:
http://www.samhinton.org/bio.html
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