Engaging in A Solemn Pheromoney.

Here's a good article. Read before you read farther:

http://www.sfn.org/content/Publications/BrainBriefings/pheromones.html

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Okay, Now we can get started.

The other night I hung out with Monica and was catching her up on all my latest exploits, what with the SXSW Film and music festival. Which included (but was not limited to) the oft-bawdy stories of the "Single SXSW'er." And this year, BOY, did I have a lot to tell her!

Basically it boiled down to me spilling out my general befuddlement regarding an increase in male attention that I have been getting recently. It's not necessarily a good or a bad thing...it just feels odd. Not that it matters or affects my personal life...every night when I go home, it's to my own two kitty-girls, by my choice. But I'm just frickin' perplexed.

I mean, I'm still the same person I was, so why? Is it just because I've decided to genuinely stay single? Or is the mystery of a more physical nature?

Monica seemed to think it's due to a combination of a rise in self-confidence, and my emission of personal pheromones. This theory compounded into a long and involved discussion of every possible factor of my sexuality and current emotional status. The question I never thought I'd have to ask: Am I in heat?

A smidge of disconcertion is beginning to settle upon me. I've met many people over the past couple of weeks. What's been happening is that I meet someone and they act as if they are drawn, SO drawn to me, that it doesn't feel real. It's like I slipped 'em a Mickey. And we're talking about people I know as well as those I don't. Am I projecting this or inviting this in some manner?

For instance, at Beerland last Sunday while I was talking to a certain person who happens to be male (and an interest of mine), ANOTHER guy I know (a very casual acquaintance) came up to me and gave me a hug...and then he looked at me with this funny little "noticing" look in his eye and started in on how I smelled of sunshine and green apples. What??? I mean, COME ON! Haha.

Of course I'd been go-go dancing all night so I was pretty sensitive that I was a bit on the odiferous side...but perhaps that was the attractor? I just don't know. Basically at that moment, it was a combination of girly sweat and hastily sprayed Mary Kay perfume. Huh.

Anyhow, the look in his eyes caught me off guard. I did a double take on his stare, even. He hovered there uncertianly, as if waiting for me to do something more, like maybe chat him up? I might have, I suppose, had I not been in mid chat-up with someone else.

That's just one example, but it really has been like that for the past month or two. Why? I can't figure it out. I mean, I'm the same person as I always was. I've put on a little more weight lately and frankly, haven't felt all that attractive the past few weeks due to said weight gain and overindulgence in blatantly supine activities. But that's just me, apparently.

Last night, I met what appears to be a stellar young man (who I actually DO hope to get to know better), but again I was faced with the pheromones dilemma. It was actually pretty humorous.

I'm sitting on the couch with him, pretending to read a newspaper but actually quite distracted by his presence, and he says all close in my ear, "You have an intriguing smell." Now, don't get me wrong, I think this young man is really unique and I don't think that what he said was pithy or inappropriate. But, given my 45-minute conversation with Monica on Friday night concerning my overactive pheromones, it was all I could do to keep a few chortles from bubbling out.

Not wanting to put him off or discount his statement, I lowered the paper and asked the air in front of me, "Would you say it's my pheromones?" An eager assent.

I nodded my head, knowingly.

*must not laugh out loud.* *must not laugh out loud.* *must not laugh out loud.* *must not laugh out loud.*

Perhaps I need to bottle up my secretions and send them to one of the numerous websites for one of those 'human pheromones' perfumes?

Ewwwwww. Never mind.

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By the way, what is WITH the pheromone-perfume thing? It's utterly laughable. To me it smacks of falseness akin to 'natural' breast enhancement, toupees, and water-bras. What happens when you run out of perfume? Do your minions hit the road? Are you forever enslaved to the pheromone perfume-maker? Immortal words, those: "It's not nice to fool with Mother Nature."

Pfffft. Spreading a liquid containing "human pheromones" on your upper lip. Like drops of acid for the lonely, desperate, and probably now-broke.

Indeed.