The War of Priorities

Finding myself amidst what I'm calling the War of Priorities.

A week after my first post, I have begun transitioning into a writing machine. That is, if you include lots of research and reading as part of the writing process - which it is.  Word count?  Not so much - yet. 

Happily, I recently got a really good idea for a first fiction novel (!) and have begun to map it out. I'm so into it - it's like "Hollywood movie" good - and not done by anyone yet, to the best of my knowledge.  Priorities for that project involve character development and establishing patterns of prose. I already know it's going to be in the first person, as so many YA novels are.  That's what works the best to place the reader in the middle of the action. There's so much to figure out!

Of all my projects, I'm most excited about this fiction novel. But admittedly, I have a tendency to start many projects and finish much fewer.  I have some other commitments I must finish before I can really sink into this one.

Here's the Big One: I got an email from my editor yesterday letting me know that the History Press is shooting for a March publication date, and will I have the Texas prison bands book finished in time?  The answer is YES - if I become a writing machine.  The question is, will I?

Ugh...I've been struggling with this project. Part of my struggle is because although the research is fun, the writing isn't as fun.  Non-fiction. Whoop-de-doo.  The other underlying issue is a deeper one...I'm suffering from a lack of confidence. I know I can write, but is it good?  Is it interesting? Will the end result impress the people I hope to impress?  Am I trying to be someone I'm not with historical research projects like this one? Gads. I'm not sure why I can't abandon these little mental roadblocks and just GO FOR IT.  I am the expert on this. I have the ability and now, finally, I have the time to write well.  Which I MUST do, by the end of October.  So I can have a publication date of March 2016. Pressure much?

Another contender in the War of Priorities is that I find myself trying to do this other thing that involves hanging out with real human beings during the day!  I do a weekly Writer's Group meeting, so that's one down.  I've got a couple of coffee shops conducive to writing for hours on end. I'm practicing guitar and singing harmonies with folks, talking about music - just trying to keep life fun and remember what really makes me happy. I'm making plans with close friends who are visiting town for one night,  and an old friend who just moved here. Most importantly, I plan to spend a fair amount of time with a friend of mine who lost her husband very suddenly a few weeks back.  They were my age - and SO in love - and she woke up one morning, looked over at him and saw that he would never wake up again.  It breaks my heart.

The fuss and furor of his sudden death have passed, her mother has finally left and gone back home, and she finds herself wondering how her days are going to be filled.  That breaks my heart more than anything. Although I can't be her husband, or anywhere close to replacing what she has lost,  I can be a friend - just be there for her in the weeks and months after he is gone. I can invite her to hang out and go do silly things like go to the mall or the movies, or play music together, or just sit and talk - but above all, I must do what I can to inject a little bit of balm and humor into her days, which are going to be long, painful and humorless for a very long time.

:(


In the end, I've found that after only a week and a half of being unemployed - I'm TIRED!  Mostly it's due to the comedown of constant stress and lack of sleep. I thought sleep would even out after I left my job, but now I can't sleep until the wee hours of the morning on some nights...and I sleep for ten hours on other nights. What's with that?  Will it even out?  I sure hope so.  The other reason I'm so tired is because I've been getting regular physical exercise - swimming and walking, most days of the week.  I haven't been so active in ages and it feels great.

SO. What have I learned from these past few days?  When it comes to the War of the Priorities, all battles must be fought. And in the end, I will win.